Trapped In Handcuffs!
by Miss Dusk
Summary: What happens when there is a new DADA teacher at Hogwarts? What happens when she and Prof. Snape get handcuffed together? Hilarity, of course. DADA teacher’s POV. Some drama involved also. Not sure about the rating it might go up some more.
1. Chapter One: The New Beginning

Summary: What happens when there is a new DADA teacher at Hogwarts? What happens when she and Prof. Snape get handcuffed together? Hilarity, of course. DADA teacher's POV. Some drama involved also.

A/N: I just wanted to say that this is when The Golden Trio is in sixth year. But, I'm going to ignore most HBP plot lines. Not that I didn't like HBP I just didn't see this story following the book. Also, there is going to be a lot of teacher interaction. This story is also told from the DADA teacher's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Harry Potter; they all belong to J.K. Rowling. I just like to play with them. However, I do own Professor Barbara Ann Humnick and the handcuffs.

Chapter One: The New Beginning 

Barbara Ann Humnick stood in front of Hogwarts with her mouth open slightly. _So, this is the famous school where Dumbledore resides? Ye gods, help me. I can't believe I'm going to teach here!_ She thought as she stopped gaping at the school and grabbed her things.

She walked into the great castle and nearly dropped her things in surprise at how beautiful Hogwarts looked. She noticed the open doors leading to the Great Hall, at a quick glance she could see the huge canisters that held the house points. It was now empty of jewels because it was still the summer holiday. She noticed the huge tables that took up the entire room. Above each table was a huge banner of each house. The banners looked as if they were handmade, stitched with great care.

Humnick was so busy staring at the beautiful castle to notice an old man walking towards her. He was dressed in midnight blue robes that seemed to bring out his bright blue eyes even more than usual. His half-moon spectacles were half way down his nose, they seemed in danger of falling off his nose completely. He had such a long beard that it could easily be tucked into his belt if he wanted. He had a quiet air about him but at certain moments Humnick would find out that he could radiate power.

"Miss Barbara Ann Humnick, I presume?" Dumbledore asked quietly making Humnick jump.

"Oh sir, I'm sorry I didn't notice you there." Humnick extended her hand to Dumbledore. Dumbledore bent down and kissed it making Humnick blush slightly.

"I am Professor Albus Dumbledore. I'm so glad that you decided to fulfill the post of Defense Against The Dark Arts here. We seem to have a bit of bad luck keeping them for more than one year. Here let me help you with your luggage," Dumbledore said as he flicked his wand and Humnick's luggage went flying up the stairs.

"Thank you for hiring me. I'm quite happy to be here. I think I would have gone crazy if I had to be a cashier for much longer," Humnick said earnestly as she looked around the castle again, "It's so much more beautiful than I dreamt it would. Europe is so much more… eloquent than America. It has much more history than America could even dream about. I can't believe that I'm actually going to work here."

Dumbledore smiled, "Let me show you where you will be living. Then I shall introduce you to the rest of the staff."

"They live here during the summer?" Humnick asked surprised.

"They don't have to. They come and go as they please, I just asked them to be here to meet you. Consider it a welcome party." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled pleasantly as he spoke

"You didn't have to, I mean, I don't want to disrupt their holiday…" Humnick's rambling was cut short when they arrived at the third floor in front of her new office.

"I'll see you downstairs in the Great Hall –the room you were looking at when you first came in –at six." Dumbledore slowly walked away to wherever Humnick wasn't sure.

Humnick was just thrilled that she was here. She had a new job, a new life if you will. She looked at her new room, which had a bed that had a dark blue comforter that had suns, stars, and moons on it. Her room had a huge dresser that was made completely out of mahogany. She looked at the room and it was as if they had designed to her vision of a perfect room.

It even had a television, VCR/DVD player, and a portable CD player that worked. Humnick knew that Muggle objects rarely worked near magic but apparently someone made these items just for Muggle-borns that can't live without their movies and music, which is Humnick exactly.

She was crazy for movies and music. She would shrivel up and die if she didn't unwind at least once a week and indulge in watching a movie (preferably a Tim Burton movie) or listen to music for hours and hours. But right now she didn't have time for that. She wanted to freshen up a little bit before she met her co-workers.

Humnick took a shower and dressed into some of her more formal robes that were sky blue with a faint pattern of gold stars on the sleeves. She always wore this to formal "parties" or basically when she wants to make a good impression.

She headed down to the Great Hall at five-thirty to give her plenty of time to get lost. Even though she only was on the third floor, she knew her sense of direction was abysmal. Fortunately for her, she got lost and found her way to the Great Hall just in time, when she arrived it was five-fifty.

The Great Hall doors were closed now, Humnick took a deep breath and pushed open the doors. The great oak doors made Humnick feel like that she was starting a new and exciting life. Whatever this "new life" had in store Humnick couldn't wait for it to begin.

Humnick walked up to where there were a few people standing at the topmost table in the Great Hall. She was very conscious of where she stepped, she had a tendency to trip over her own feet and air. The last thing she wanted to do was trip.

For all of Humnick's effort of not tripping, she did anyway. At least she caught herself on the table so she didn't fall flat on her face. Most of the teachers didn't even notice that she had tripped. But, she did notice one of them did, he was sitting in the shadows as if he really didn't want to be here.

Humnick paid this strange man no mind because just at that moment Dumbledore showed up. Everyone stood and looked at him expectantly.

Dumbledore made a motion as if to say, "Sit." The teachers all sat in their chairs. Humnick looked around at the table and noticed with a smile that someone had been nice enough to write a note that said, "Professor Humnick's seat."

She sat in the chair and the man who had seen her trip sat next to her on her right. The man didn't even turn towards to acknowledge the fact she was even there. Humnick couldn't even tell what his face looked like. It was like he was pretending that she didn't even exist. Humnick noticed that the man wore all black robes. He had long black hair that looked slightly greasy. Humnick wondered what he taught. She could see that his hands were covered with calluses. His entire posture was so stiff it gave the impression that if he was Muggle-born he could have passed as a solider in the army.

At the thought of the army Humnick turned away from this mysterious man. Every time she even thought of The Army she felt a pang in her heart. _No, don't think about it now. You're supposed to be meeting your colleagues. You're going to be happy!_ Humnick mentally scolded herself for her momentary lapse of happiness.

At that moment Dumbledore decided to speak, "As you know, we have a new teacher here with us. I'm so glad that she'll fill in the Defense Against The Dark Arts position. She traveled from America to teach. Everyone, I'm proud to introduce Professor Barbara Ann Humnick."

Humnick gave a small smile and wave to the table. She couldn't think of anything profound to say so she kept quiet.

"Let's eat!" Dumbledore exclaimed.

After Dumbledore sat down again the teachers commenced to eat. No body was really saying anything but, "Pass the potatoes," or "Pass the peas."

Fortunately, someone decided to put on some music. Humnick sat quietly listening to the music, it sounded so familiar. It sounded like…like…

"Danny Elfman!" Humnick cried loudly. Realizing that she said it very loudly she blushed a bright shade of red while mumbling her apologizes for her outburst.

Humnick was quite pleasantly surprised by the fact that they playing her favorite composer. It was almost creepy how whoever put on the music knew that she would like it.

She then started to scold herself. _Not everything is about you. For all you know Dumbledore might like Danny Elfman as much as you do._ She allowed herself a small smile at the thought as she began to eat.

The woman to her left, she found out was Professor Alexandria Vector. Humnick and Vector began to talk. Humnick found out that she was the only Muggle-born teacher the school ever heard tell of. Vector began saying who was pure-blood and who was half-blood. At this point Humnick wasn't paying attention because she didn't know who was who.

Prof. Vector all of sudden dropped her voice and said, "I don't know for certain if Severus Snape is pure or 'alf but 'e 'is the 'ead of Slytherin, so I would sy 'e's pure."

"Head of Slytherin? What's that?" Humnick asked quietly.

"Blimey! You don't know about the 'ouses? Didn't they 'ave 'ouses where you went to school?"

"No. They sorted us by boys and girls and then by year."

"What did you do for Quidditch teams?"

"Played against different schools. Always on the weekends so they didn't miss class. I would know, I was in band," Humnick said proudly.

"They 'ad a band at your school?" Vector asked amazed.

"Oh yes. I have my band jacket with me even. I don't go anywhere without it." She beamed proudly.

"Where'd you go to school?" Vector asked.

"I went to the New England Academy Training for Witches and Wizards, or N.E.A.T. for Witches and Wizards." Humnick smiled as she explained, "So what's Slytherin?" she asked getting back to the original question.

"It's one of the four 'ouses 'ere. Slytherin is known for ambition. Gryffindor is bravery. 'Ufflepuff is loyalty and Ravenclaw is very intelligent. There are some 'ouse rivalries between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Jist a warning."

"Thank you," Humnick said in all honesty.

Dinner ended and Dumbledore introduced Humnick to everyone. After being introduced teachers began to go have conversations with others or go to their rooms.

Humnick didn't know anyone except Prof. Vector and she left the party and Prof. Dumbledore who was in deep slightly heated conversation with Prof. McGonagall.

Prof. Flitwick and Prof. Sprout were talking amongst themselves. Humnick thought both of them were very nice. Flitwick even gave her a Charmed Rose that lasted much longer than a normal rose.

As she observed these new people at a distance she realized that strange man who wouldn't even look at her all through dinner wasn't there anymore. If her memory served her correctly it was Prof. Snape that was missing.

_Probably went back to his room._ Humnick thought. Just when Humnick thought of leaving herself a huge man sat down next to her.

Honestly, she had never seen a man so large before in her entire life he wasn't at dinner she would have noticed him. His hand alone could have squashed her flat. He had a scraggly beard and such wild hair that she would have said a bird could make nest in there and he wouldn't notice. But, Humnick noticed that for this man's size he didn't look menacing. He looked like a very large, nice person.

"So, you're the new professor, eh?" the huge man asked smiling as he took a mighty swill from his barrel sized tankard.

"Y…yes," she stuttered intimidated by this man's height and size.

"The name's Prof. Rubeus Hagrid," he said happily looking down at Humnick with beetle black eyes.

"Prof. Barbara Ann Humnick," she answered, "What do you teach?" she asked politely.

"Care o' Magical Creatures. No need to tell me wat ya teach. Defense Against The Dark Arts. We never 'ad much luck wit 'em, but we manage."

"Yes, Dumbledore told me all about that curse nonsense. Codswallop in my opinion."

Hagrid looked at Humnick and smiled, "Great man, Dumbledore."

"I'll drink to that." Humnick smiled at Hagrid as she lifted her glass Hagrid gave it a tap with his tankard.

Before they knew it, it was late at night. The other teachers bade each other goodnight while telling Humnick they were glad she got the job.

Humnick was the last to leave the Great Hall. She was about to climb the great marble stairs when she felt cold, hard fingers grab her shoulders. They slammed her up against the wall.

Out of pure instinct she struck out against her attacker. She missed and he pinned her arms against the wall above her head. Humnick's memory was racing she remembered this position; most of the memories were bad ones.

"Get off me, you pig!" Humnick cried as the attacker's grip tightened.

The attacker looked at her, his face was now visible from the light of the Great Hall. It was that Prof. Snape character.

"You! What did I ever do to you?" she asked sharply.

His answer came back as sharp as the question; his face was so close Humnick could smell faint traces of alcohol on his breath, "You took my job. I've wanted this job for the past _sixteen_ years! I'm not going to stand for having an _American Mudblood wench_ teach Defense Against The Dark Arts!"

Humnick was completely astonished by this man's language. Instead of feeling her usual rage, she felt a twinge of fear by the way he was snarling at her. He was strong for having liquor in his system.

"I will not be your friend. Understand that?" he asked sharply.

Humnick glared but nodded, "I understand. Sorry I cause you so much trouble," she answered coldly.

Snape let go of her roughly, she almost dropped to her knees she was so surprised, "Stay out of my way and there will be no trouble."

With a swish of his cloak he disappeared down in he dungeons. Humnick watched him go with anger boiling in her chest threatening to surface. She forced herself to calm down and stuff her feelings on the back burner, for now.

Humnick took off for her room and didn't look back. She was afraid that she would see Snape's malevolent eyes twinkling back at her.


	2. Chapter Two: Professor Humnick

**Chapter Two: Professor Humnick**

A week passed from her last encounter with Professor Snape. The next time she met that man would be a lifetime too soon. Humnick now clearly understood the differences between the four houses and it seems clear to her that the Slytherins were the least favorite out of the four houses for good reason. With that little fact in hand Humnick's fear of being alone with Professor Snape intensified…though just a little of course. It did not help matters that she was stuck sitting next to him for the rest of the school year.

After the Sorting of the first years, Headmaster Dumbledore said a few words about banned items in the castle for Mr. Filch and that The Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students. Humnick warily thought the "Forbidden" part of the name was pretty self-explanatory but apparently not.

All too soon, Headmaster Dumbledore announced Professor Humnick as the new Defense Against the Darks Arts teacher. She received polite applause from the students, which she didn't mind at although another person might have been offended by the mediocre response. She reasoned that they didn't know what to expect from her or what she was like. Besides, she thought, an enthusiastic round of applause might have been a little creepy.

The next morning, Humnick was preparing for her first class with her Advanced Defense Class for sixth years with slight anticipation. Seeing that so few students were continuing with that class there was only a handful of students from each house. They would all be stuck together in one class, which might prove to be very interesting.

Just for her sanity she brought her CD player that came with her room. With a simple flick she transfigured it into a small stereo. Smiling to herself she put in "The Phantom Of The Opera" and started to play "The Overture" as she heard her students lining up outside the door.

"Come in." Humnick called out as she pressed the play button. The creepy music of Andrew Lloyd Webber's creation came pouring into the room. The wonderful music encompassed the room and reflected her personality perfectly. Just for the hell of it Humnick gave her cloak a good dramatic swish as they entered.

As the students walked in somewere visibly shaken as they entered. If Humnick had to guess, they were shocked by the music that was playing. Personally, Humnick thought that it was wonderful and her hands almost shook in adrenaline at the melodious sounds that were swimming in the room.

Everyone took a seat reluctantly giving her insecure stares. Humnick noticed that the Slytherins sat far away from the windows settling in the dark side of the room. The Gryffindors were the direct opposite and sat near the windows. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs were automatically integrated in the middle of the classroom between the two warring parties.

Humnick walked over to her CD player and turned off the music. She turned to face her students with another dramatic swish of her black cloak and a smile that wasn't all too innocent.

"Good morning class. I am Professor Barbara Ann Humnick. Of course, Professor Humnick to you. In my class we will be taking things you've learned in previous years and expanding on that knowledge. We will be dealing with werewolves, vampires, necromancers, and various others creatures."

A boy with exceedingly blonde hair almost white muttered to two huge boys the size of trolls, "I _know_ what vampires are." The thing that really bothered her about the boy was the fact that it was like he wasn't trying to be quiet at all about his opinions.

This was her domain and she tried to gently reprimand the kid while trying not to make him seem like an idiot. It was hard. She wasn't really sure she succeeded. "Yes, but do you know their politics? Do you know the proper tribute to offer to a Master of the City when entering their territory? It would _not_ be good if you offended them. The Master of the City is not someone you would like to trifle with. They are more likely to kill you slowly that way. What is your name?" she walked over to the blonde boy and placed both hands on his desk.

"Draco Malfoy," The blonde haired boy answered in a huffy voice as if that name was supposed to mean something to her. It didn't. She didn't know anyone around here except for the teachers in Hogwarts and some people in Hogsmeade like Madam Rosmerta.

"Mr. Malfoy, you will be learning about vampire politics. They can be tricky and they certainly have a lot of loopholes. I will help you learn what is proper when it comes to a vampire. I might even throw in some vampire etiquette. You never know what life will throw your way. My biggest concern is to keep you _safe_." Prof. Humnick went back to the front of the class and leaned against her desk prepared to go through the first day of school's rules and regulations when she was interrupted by a group of teenagers in the back of the classroom.

There were three of them. One was a girl with great bushy brunette hair. She looked like the typical smart bookworm type of girl, seeing a mountain of books surrounding her. Next to the girl was a boy with flaming red hair. He seemed like a archetypal boy that would barely pay attention during class and then beg the girl for help with homework (or do it for him). His head was already in his hand; his eyes were glazed over as he looked up at the front of the classroom. He was definitely going to struggle to survive in this world if he kept this up.

Next to the red haired boy was another boy with longish jet-black hair. He had round black glasses on. The boy was trying to get the red haired boy out of his stupor by making a joke. What Humnick heard of the joke was, "I really don't care about vampire politics but if Malfoy gets himself killed, it works for me."

"I heard that… Mr. Potter?" Humnick asked as she glanced at the attendance sheet that was on her desk, "I do not approve of such comments in my classroom. I'll let you off with a warning this time. The next derogatory remark will cost your house five points."

Mr. Potter gave Prof. Humnick an incredulous look but didn't say anything, "As I was saying; I do not expect you to learn all about vampire politics. For even I do not know it all and to say I did would be presumptuous and wrong." Humnick rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself at the thought of her knowing all about vampire politics, she would have to be incredibly naïve to believe that. It would take a youngling vampire five hundred years to learn all the proper laws and even then they can make mistakes.

"I must admit that I enjoy having fun in my classes. I do not enjoy lecturing everyday. So, for a change of pace we might have a movie day where we will study the way Muggles perceive the creatures that we are studying at the time." Humnick smiled at the thought of watching her favorite movies during her classes and absolutely relishing the idea.

"An idea of how my class will be run is the following. I will lecture some days about vampires let's say. I will have you take notes and take a test, etc. But what I will be looking for the most is not essentially the quantity of your knowledge of the material but a lot of it has to deal with the quality of it."

There were some groans heard throughout the classroom. The students didn't know what to think of this Prof. Humnick. She seemed like she expected her students to do a lot but at the same time she wanted them to have fun in her class.

Humnick raised her voice a little to be heard over the groans, "I will not take negativity in this classroom. Snide remarks are 5 points automatically from your house. It can be quite easy for some people to learn the material but for some it isn't. I also grade a lot on class participation. Correct answers are 3-5 points to your house. Incorrect answers -depending on how incorrect they are- will cost your house up to 0-2 points."

Humnick was approached with disquiet. The students were all staring at her like she was not to be believed, "But enough about me and this class. I would like to get to know each of you. We'll start in the front over here," she pointed at Neville Longbottom, "And work our way throughout the classroom."

Neville gave a shaky beginning, "Neville Longbottom. I'm in Gryffindor. I have a pet toad named Trevor. I love Herbology. No offense." He added quickly in case Prof. Humnick would get angry.

"None taken." She said with a smile. The class seemed to relax and they followed suit telling her a small thing about themselves. It was almost no time when the class ended. Humnick dismissed them and the students seemed to be more relaxed around her. Some actually smiled and waved her good-bye before they left the classroom.

Humnick sighed with a deep relief that the first class went well. She hoped that she didn't come across as a very serious teacher because she wasn't a very serious person ever. _Oh well_, Humnick thought,_ One down only six more periods to go._

Before she knew it, it was time for her next class. _Here's hoping the rest of the day goes as well._ Humnick put on "The Phantom Of The Opera" music again and let her students into the room.

* * *

As the weeks passed there were several students that took a real liking to Professor Humnick. She was challenging, yes, but the students liked her style of teaching. She would assign reading the night before and then ask questions for students to answer for house points. Not really any different from any of the other classes they had but Humnick made it seem more like a game were it was more rewarding to learn the material.

On a brisk fall day, Prof. Humnick decided that it would be excellent to hold class outside. It was beautiful out and being cooped up in her stuffy classroom did not seem at all appealing. She made a motion to grab her cloak after she ushered the sixth year class outside but decided not to, the sun was shining bright and warm today.

As if expecting it, not at all considering she was counting down, she heard a high-pitched whine behind her. "Why are we going outside?" Malfoy asked loudly and almost on queue.

"Well, I thought that you would enjoy the last couple of warm days outside before we have to deal with winter," Humnick answered sharply fed up by this boy's attitude. "But if you want to stay inside and receive a zero for today, be my guest." (AAE: Oooo, evil! I like!)

The other students snickered slightly at her remark but didn't dare let Malfoy see. Malfoy only sneered at her back and followed the rest of the class out of the room. They headed out toward the paddock near Hagrid's house and close on the entrance to the Forbidden Forest before stopping.

"This is so stupid." Malfoy whispered to Crabbe and Goyle who just grunted in response, "We'll show her who is boss. No one can order a Malfoy."

"Stay close. I don't want to chase anyone out of the forest." Humnick said loudly as the class sat on the ground in front of her. Seeing everyone settled, Humnick started to teach her class about the dangers of using certain blocking spells on different curses.

"If you use a Simple Blocking Spell against the Gut Wrenching Curse, you are in big trouble. Not only will you get the Gut Wrenching Curse but also you won't be able to perform the simple counter curse due to the fact that the Simple Blocking Spell would be in your stomach…" at this point some of the students started to notice that Malfoy was slowly inching towards the Forbidden Forest. Ever so slowly he was snaking his way through the grass away from the rest of the class.

Until it was too late did Humnick notice that her class was no longer paying any attention to her but a student near the Forbidden Forest. Humnick was about to yell at Malfoy to sit up in front of the class when Hermione shouted, "Malfoy, don't go in there!"

Malfoy, who seemed to be driven by a force to do the exact opposite of what Hermione said, ran into the forest at full speed. Humnick tethered at the edge of the forest thinking frantically of what to do knowing she had to get Malfoy out of there but she was entering unknown territory as she didn't know what creatures were in the forest. Malfoy may have thought that this was riot, she could see him laughing from afar, but he didn't know how much danger he was in as the shadows around him moved.

Before Harry started to go into the forest to save Malfoy, Humnick roughly grabbed him by his shirt and told him to stay put or he would have detention for a month. He opened his mouth as if to argue when all of a sudden Pansy Parkinson gave an earsplitting shriek followed by a sickeningly wet sound like flesh being pierced in the forest.

Humnick's head snapped back quickly towards Malfoy expecting to see his laughing figure, he wasn't standing anymore. He was hunched over on the ground with an arrow embedded in his shoulder. Scanning the background, she saw a band of centaurs stringing their bows once more to shoot Draco again.

"_Stop! _He's a student!" Humnick shouted with panic, "Don't shoot!" She ran quickly into the forest, jumping over bushes and dodging the centaurs that started to whine in surprise of her sudden appearance.

She dropped to Draco's side in the middle of the centaur circle taking a fast look at the arrow protruding from Malfoy's shoulder before quickly keeping the centaurs in sight. His wound was harsh, she knew, from the torn skin and muscles the arrow pierced but he would live if taken to the infirmary soon. "Don't move." Humnick ordered as she conjured a stretcher for him to lie on. Somewhere during the process of placing him onto the stretcher he passed out, which caused her to panic even more. _Blood loss_, she thought.

"What do you think you are doing?" a low rough voice demanded, "You two have trespassed on our territory. The penalty for such an act is death." The centaur approached her slowly, his face mean and angry, as he aimed his arrow at her.

"Please, I'm a teacher at Hogwarts. He's a student. He should not have come in here that it true and I'm terribly sorry for trespassing. What has happened was a mistake and once again I apologize. Please, he is only a youngling and has yet to properly learn the ways of the world. Surely, you don't mean to kill a child?" Professor Humnick tried to deliberately distract with the centaurs while she slowly moved closer to the forest opening. Out of the corner of her eye Miss Granger was attempting to move the stretcher closer to her in order to get Malfoy out of the line of fire.

The centaurs talked amongst themselves for a few moments an action that both helped Humnick and Draco towards safety as their path was now unblocked and their would-be executioners distracted. Hermione had almost gotten Malfoy out of the forest when one of the centaurs shouted, "He's getting away!"

Humnick made a mad dash out of the Forbidden Forest, screaming at her students to run away from the entrance and towards the castle. She made it out of the thicket but didn't stop running. The centaurs would not cross into the open but still their arrows could reach pretty far. It wasn't until she was almost to the green houses did she and her students stop.

Suddenly a bell rang out onto the grounds signaling the class's end. Humnick couldn't believe her luck. _And that concludes today's lesson_, she thought humorously still out of breath. Professor Sprout opened the greenhouse doors to let out her class when she noticed a Professor Humnick looking very ill and Malfoy in a stretcher with an arrow in his arm.

"Good heavens! What happened here?" Sprout asked with her normally rosy cheeks turning a little pale at the sight of Malfoy's blood. Humnick opened her mouth to explain when Sprout spoke again, "Never mind, dear. You can tell me on the way to the Hospital Wing. Everyone else, go to your next class." She quickly shooed off the lingering students and lead Humnick into the castle. As they ran up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing Humnick quickly summarized what had happened during class all the while receiving all kinds of strange and frightened looks as Malfoy's unconscious bleeding form floated by them.

They had reached the Hospital Wing in record time; Madam Pomfrey briefly surprised at the sudden intrusion of her once quiet room, "Merlin! What happened? Tell me everything," she asked briskly as she rushed around the office grabbing all kinds of remedies to heal the wounded boy.

Humnick began to explain everything that had happened in the Forbidden Forest and the centaurs to Madam Pomfrey, "Are you sure that's all?" the nurse asked looking at Humnick sideways. Even at this angle Humnick could see the distrust written all over Madam Pomfrey's face. The look alone made her feel like an adolescent again under the scrutiny of her elders.

"Yes, that's exactly how it happened." She couldn't help but feel slightly insulted and hurt by Madam Promfrey's silent accusation. _I'm a professor after all_, she added in her mind, _I would never do any-_

"Well, if that is all. I need my space to work, so if you don't mind." Madam Pomfrey led Professor Sprout and Professor Humnick out of the Hospital Wing.

Professor Sprout noticing Humnick's unease and started to comfort her, "It was bound to happen sooner or later, dear, and everyone hopes it happens later. There's always a student that thinks he's better than everyone else and he's lucky it's just a flesh wound. Imagine getting a student who ate the leaves of a Bubotuber Pus Plant. Mind you that happened a few years ago but you can imagine the mess that created. Needless to say he spent a good part of two months confined to a bed."

"What do I do now?" Humnick wearily asked the short woman with graying hair.

"Tell Dumbledore, file an incident report, talk to Severus and move on. You shouldn't let such an accident hinder your teaching," Professor Sprout said simply.

Humnick froze on one simple word, "Why do I need to talk to Snape?"

"Well, Mr. Malfoy is in Slytherin isn't he? Professor Snape is his Head of House and any punishment of this magnitude needs to be discussed with him. Malfoy went into the Forbidden Forest that is the punishment of the Head of House to decide, even though he went during your class. That's the rules. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll see it your way." Sprout answered with a cheerful but strained grin on her face as she walked away from Humnick.

Barbara Ann didn't know what to do. She was afraid of Snape even after one encounter she wanted to avoid him as much as possible. If she saw him walking through the corridors Humnick would do her best to stay out of his line of vision by entering a nearby hall or door. He didn't seem to be above openly attacking someone when there were people around as he always seems to be in a bad mood with a constant snarl on his face. He was like a living nightmare that Humnick wanted nothing to do with.

It is absolutely terrifying to eat meals next to him. Snape would just sit there brooding at every meal of the day. She was still trying to figure out a way that she could eat fewer meals in the Great Hall just to stay away from him. Now, she had to go out of her way to talk to the bad tempered Potions Master.

_You're being silly,_ Humnick thought loudly as she rounded the corridor heading to her classroom. _Just talk with him after supper he'll see it your way. Just like Professor Sprout said. _Humnick sighed as she walked into her empty room.

_I hope._ Humnick thought as she sat down in her chair trying to mentally prepare herself for the inevitable meeting with Prof. Snape this evening.

* * *

Humnick was a royal mess by dinnertime; she looked as if she was ready to fight in a battle rather than trying to drum up enough nerve to talk to someone, let alone Snape. She kept telling herself that everything would be fine. Perfectly fine. The other half of her told her to stop being so naïve.

He was going to eat her _soul_.


	3. Chapter Three: Hand In The Snake's Mouth

**Chapter Three: Hand In The Snake's Mouth**

A/N: After nearly a year of nothing... I give you chapter three! Sorry for the ridiculous wait but I seriously thought that I was going to have to stop writing this story for good. Hopefully, I can write another chapter in less than a year!

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Humnick sat down at her seat for dinner at the staff table in the Great Hall. Just looking at the steak and kidney pie that was on her plate made her feel queasy. She turned away from her meal to be able to think about how to talk with Snape after dinner. Humnick would keep it nice and simple, just discuss Malfoy's punishment for going into the Forbidden Forest, and then leave as quickly as possible, without incident. 

_Yeah, right. Why don't you just wish for world peace while you're at it because that isn't going to happen either._ Humnick's cynical side thought as she tried to calm herself, as dinner ended.

"Severus, I need to talk to you about Draco Malfoy's performance today during my class," Professor Humnick said to the stygian man who was about to leave for his dungeons.

"I feel that there is nothing to discuss, Professor." Snape returned sharply, "The injury that Mr. Malfoy incurred during his little excursion seem to be punishment enough, don't you agree?"

Humnick gulped, that wasn't exactly what she expected him to say but she still wasn't willing to back down, "I feel that he deserves something more so that he knows that he should not cross me, especially when I specifically said not to go into the Forest."

Snape eyed Humnick with such contempt that she almost lost her resolve, "Follow me. We will discuss this in my office."

Humnick made the motion to follow him towards the dungeons, but she got out of her chair too quickly. The result was her stepping on her own robes and tumbling straight into Snape. Snape reacted as if Humnick was trying to intentionally hurt him, "You clumsy oaf!" he shouted in a most vitriolic voice.

Grabbing up her robes so that she wouldn't trip on them again, Humnick apologized profoundly while Snape continued to scowl at her, "Let's go. Now." Was all he said in return as he turned on his heel and headed towards his office, with his robes billowing behind him.

She followed him, trying to keep up the pace that he had set. Humnick tried to refrain from even _thinking_ about the Phantom of the Opera's last scene but it was almost too much, even though was scared. _Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair. Down we plunge to the prison of my mind. Down that path into darkness deep as Hell!_ If Humnick ever survived this she was going to write a letter to Andrew Lloyd Webber saying he was a genius.

They reached Snape's office quickly, even considering the fast pace that they had just taken. Humnick trying to cover the fact that she was panting by breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth but the effort was really futile. Snape glared at her as he got rid of the wards around his office and opened the door, "In." was all he said.

Humnick stepped in and stood by the chair in front of Snape's desk. Snape sat down at his desk but refused to offer the chair to Humnick, forcing her to stand. _Fine_ Humnick thought.

Snape gave Humnick an icy glare, sizing up her up. It was frankly unnerving to her but what else could she do. This whole situation was in his court he made the final decision, it was just Humnick's job to point him in the right direction.

"Professor Humnick, I do not like being told that one of my students from Slytherin is behaving badly during another co-workers class, I assure you that. But to say that Malfoy needs more punishment on top of what happened to him today is preposterous." Snape began, and, instantly, Humnick knew that she was in over her head. There was something in his tone that she didn't like.

"Professor Snape, I am just trying to make a point to Malfoy that I do not tolerate being crossed in my classes. Especially when I give specific instructions." She said trying to control her shaking fists. It wasn't out of anger that she spoke, she was more afraid of saying something stupid to muddle up her chances of proving herself in front of this man.

Snape eyed Humnick again, "What were you thinking Malfoy needs to do in order to realize his punishment?" he asked with a malevolent glint in his eyes.

"A weeks worth of detention and at least 40 points from Slytherin." Professor Humnick puffed out seeing that she was so nervous she could barely speak.

"Absolutely not." Snape replied, "Malfoy would be worse after a weeks worth of detention. He would never listen to your instructions in class again. Also, he's a prefect if he gets House points taken away, it wouldn't look good to Dumbledore now would it."

Humnick's jaw dropped, "It wouldn't look good to Dumbledore? The whole situation doesn't look good to anyone never mind Dumbledore! If Malfoy _doesn't_ get a detention or a punishment of _some_ kind people are going to know that you are covering for him."

At this Humnick realized that she should have kept that last bit to herself. Snape rose swiftly from his seat, giving Humnick a look that made her very glad that looks could not kill. Even from across the room with his wand tucked in his robes, Humnick was terrified that this whole situation was going to get very ugly in a matter of seconds.

"You came into my office to make a _deal_, Humnick. Not to insult me. If you would be so kind as to remember that, the both of us will be able to leave this office unscathed." Snape threatened as he sat back down into his chair, still not offering Humnick to sit down.

"Yes, sir." Humnick responded, "What do you propose then?" she asked trying to calm herself.

"One detention and 20 points taken from Slytherin." Snape added seeing the look on Humnick's face, "Take it or leave it."

"What? ONE detention?" she asked with an incredulous air.

"Yes, one." Snape said, "Malfoy is going to hold one detention against you for as long as the both of you are here, mark my words. It would even worse if it was a week."

"Precisely why it should be a week, to straighten out his attitude," Humnick started to argue but was silenced by the deadly look that Snape gave her, "But I suppose that this deal is all that I'm going to get. Thank you for your time."

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out." Snape said as Humnick turned and all but ran out of his office.

Professor Humnick stepped out into the sepulcher dungeons with her heart pounding. That did not go as well as she hoped but it still wasn't as bad as she thought. For one thing, she was still alive and her soul was still intact. _I think_. She added as she turned away from Snape's office and walked through the dungeons.

It took Humnick a good ten minutes to realize that she had definitely taken a wrong turn somewhere. She was starting to get nervous, she had no idea how to get out here and she certainly didn't want to go back to Snape's office and ask him for _directions_.

Much to Humnick's displeasure, she heard footsteps approaching. They were getting louder and louder. In her state of panic, Humnick could only think of one person that would be coming down the dungeons this late. _Snape._

She turned on her heel and ran. She didn't get far seeing that the path she chose was a dead end with a picture of a fruit basket. Humnick could still hear the footsteps coming towards her.

_Bloody hell!_ Humnick shouted in her head. Her fists were balled up in nervous tension. She almost took a swing at the basket of fruit that seemed to be mocking her but at the last second, she realized how ridiculous the idea of picture of fruit mocking her was. She unclenched her hand and as if she were apologizing to the painting for even thinking of hurting it, just let her fingers brush over the pear.

_It giggled._

Humnick jumped as she realized that a door handle was magically appearing from where she stroked the pear. Hearing the footsteps getting closer, she pulled open the painting and leapt right in without even looking. _Anything is better than dealing with that man!_ She thought as she landed on a cool stone floor on her back with her eyes clamped shut.

"Is mistress okay?" a little voice spoke overhead as she continued to lie on the floor. The little voice continued to ask if she was okay while poking her arm.

"Yes. I'm alright." Humnick managed after being poked several times. She sat up and opened her eyes. She was surrounded by elves, "Where am I?" she thought out loud.

"You're in the kitchens," the elf said as Humnick sat up from her little tumble into the room.

"The kitchens?" Humnick asked as she looked around. Sure enough, there were huge stoves and ovens for cooking large amounts of food. There was a huge teapot to boil water for drinks, "How about that." Her voice filled with wonder as she looked around.

"Is there something I can get you, miss?" the little elf asked at her elbow. Humnick wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl elf that was talking to her.

Humnick sat back and thought about all kinds of stuff that she wanted. None of them were really edible. _Humble pie, crow, poison, anything that matches my mood._ Humnick's eyes went wide. There was something that she wanted after all, "Ben & Jerry's ice cream?" she asked waiting for the elves to start laughing at her for liking Muggle-born sweets.

Instead, she heard a shuffling as a few elves got closer to her with a pint of "Everything But The…" They handed over the ice cream with a spoon for her.

"How did you guys know I like this flavor?" she asked completely amazed. Seeing that she was Muggle-born, she never really had the pleasure of dealing with an elf in her home, so this was very surreal to her.

"Dumbledore told us," the first elf said still next to her elbow.

Humnick's faced darkened a little at the mention of the headmaster's name. She was certain that she was going to have to face him sooner or later about this Draco Malfoy matter. But she wouldn't let it bother her too much as she peeled off the top of the pint of ice cream and dug her spoon into its rich layer of chocolate and vanilla swirl.

As she licked her first spoonful clean, she couldn't help but notice that the elves were still watching her sit on the floor and eat. They were waiting as if to make sure she liked what she asked for.

"This is delicious." She said as she looked around the kitchen. All the elves smiled and went back to cleaning. Humnick looked down at the elf at her elbow, "What's your name?" she asked.

"Dobby, miss." He said with a deep sweeping bow and his nose nearly grazed the floor.

"Thank you Dobby." She said, "You know, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

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Thought it rocked? Thought it sucked? Let me know in a review! 


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